Author: sheltron

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Nuclear Power – The Gentle Three Eyed Giant

I think many of us have a negative perception of Nuclear power that is outdated.

The technology has come a long way since Chernobyl.

It’s now one of the safest methods of electricity generation. And the impact of the environment is minimal. The only problem is those damn drums of nuclear waste… If we can somehow slingshot them off the planet onto the moon… (or sun, but we’d need a bigger slingshot).

Do you even now how nuclear power works? The simple explanation is that the nuclear reaction (fission or fusion, I get them confused) heats rods of uranium (simply a metal that can handle such heat without melting). These rods are dipped into water which creates steam. The steam builds up pressure which spins turbines which generate the electricity.

But is it an option for New Zealand? Perhaps not. Our nuclear free image is engrained so deeply into our culture that I don’t think we could ever have nuclear here. But we are happy for Australia to build them and lay cables under the sea to supply us with cheap power.

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How To Resize Your Digital Photos So They Are Easier To Email

Are you aware that many of you are emailing digital photos off to friends and family incorrectly? The most common mistake is not resizing them before you send them off. Failing to do this means that peoples email box gets full and the images take a long time to download for those with slow internet connections.

The photos straight off your digital camera are about 1Mb (1000Kb) each. They are so large because they have a lot of detail enabling you to enlarge them (right up to 15″ x11″) and get them printed at a photo developers.

On the internet however we don’t need or want to see them this big. It is easy to downsize them to fit on a computer monitor (about 6″ x 4.5″) size and bring the file size down to 40Kb (50 times smaller).

Your options:

  1. Download and install a free photo album software called Picasa from picasa.com. Among other things, this amazing piece of software offers you one-click emailing which resizes your photos for you when emailing them. Click here to read more.
  2. Use a web based resizing service. There are a few websites that offer this such as resize2mail.com. You upload your photo to them, choose the size you want back, and then save the resulting image back to your computer. Unfortunately you are uploading a big photo which takes ages, and the whole process is rather time consuming. But it may be all you’ve got if you’re in an internet cafe.
  3. Get everyone you know to open a Gmail.com account. This free email service created by Google gives you 2GB of storage (and counting). Thats enough room for 1000 unoptimised photos or 50,000 optimised photos. It automatically creates thumbnails for quick loading too, to download the full size photo just click.
  4. Finally Windows XP has an “Email this file” option under “File and Folder Tasks”. Using this option will ask you if you want to resize the photo before emailing it. I don’t use Outlook so this doesn’t work for me. To find out more, read “method 2” on a tutorial I found, click here.
  5. Finally, you probably got software with your digital camera. It is likely the software includes a function that will resize photos for emailing. Learn how to use it!
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I Accidently Ran A Half Marathon

This one time, I set off on my first 10km run at a public event with 200 other competitors. I had been training for a few months, running 5km at a time, two or three times a week in preparation, but no further. I figured I was pretty fit so running twice my training distance on the day wouldn’t be too much of a stretch.

I paced myself carefully to run 5mins per kilometre. Sure enough, at the 5km mark I was right on schedule – 25mins. I was feeling really good, and confident of hitting my target of 50mins. I knew the area pretty well but I didn’t now exactly where the finish line was nor the exact path we were running that day.

The 45 min mark came and went, the finish line was no where in sight.

50 min mark. I was disappointed in myself, I had not finished yet, I had missed my target.

60 min mark. Really gutted! I should have done much more training! I was getting tired and calculated that my pace was slower than 6mins per km. Not good

80 min mark. WTF is going on? I suck! I’m still running! Could I have taken a wrong turn? No. I was running with others. I finally passed a pair of very old ladies. Oh, man, I must be slow if its taken me this long to catch up to them! I asked a few competitors who ran past me “Hey, did I take a wrong turn? This is the 10km race right, not the half marathon?” They would laugh and say “Keep going mate, you’re almost there”. I asked 3 people including one spectator. They all replied the same

And so I kept running until I was exhausted.

100mins into the race I started walking instead. And for another 20 mins I alternated between slow jog and walking. So tired. So very very tired.

Finally, I crossed the finish line: 2 hours and 2 minutes after the start. I was so disappointed in myself, so much slower than I thought I was.

I stayed for the prize giving incase I got a spot prize. I didn’t. A couple of hours later I got a map of the area out and tried to figure out what I had done wrong. I traced out the route I had taken and roughly measured it against the key. Then it dawned on me. I had just accidently ran a half marathon. The longest run of my life. And actually, my time wasn’t too bad…

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The Difference Between Mass Advertising (dirty) and Marketing (noble and pure)

I absolutely abhore advertising. I hate ads on TV during programs, I hate junk mail in the letterbox, I hate spam in my email box. I often tape programs to watch later so I can fastforward the ads. I put a “no junk mail” sign on my letterbox. I take the time to train my spam killer. I block pop up windows and ignore banner advertising.

But I love marketing. I did a marketing major, I am a marketing analyst. You may be wondering what the difference is. If you’re not, piss off. If you are, read on.

Mass advertising is unsolicited. It’s a numbers game. If I send an email to 1 million people, even if I get sales from 0.001% I still make 100 sales. Its a sales tactic. All too often it promises a better life when it delivers junk, clutter and debt.

Marketing is about strategy. It starts with questioning whether I’m selling the right product in the first place and ends with profiling my ideal client, building a relationship with them and providing them with a product that adds value to their business or lives.

I’m so noble.

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Peak Oil

So scientists reckon we are nearing the point where we cannot extract oil from the ground as fast as we consume it. They project that we are just about at the point where we have used half of the worlds supply. Apparently we have just 20 to 30 years of oil left. Ever increasing demand coupled with restricted supply is a recipe for ongoing price rises.

Sounds terrible?

It doesn’t worry me.

We just have to get smarter, more efficient and use renewable resources. As the oil prices increase, the utilisation of alternative energy sources becomes more viable.

Bring it on I say!

In the mean time I reserve the right to gripe just like all the rest of you about the price of filling the tank of my car.

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Global Warming. A Crock of Shit?

I have become quite cynical of the media.

The media is a viable businesses only when there is news, because then people watch and listen, and then advertisers want to pay to get exposure too.

Quite frankly I think that the concept of global warming was made up one day when there wasn’t any news.

One volcano can vent more pollution and poisonous gases in a week then we can with our factories and vehicles! (I have no statistics to back up this claim)

Global warming is often blamed for the supposed increase in the frequency of natural disasters: floods, tsunami’s, storms for example. I suggest that the media has more eyes in more places and news stories are exchanged globally far more readily than ever before. Additionally, the world population is now so large that many low income groups live in at risk locations.

I believe that the planet goes through natural climate cycles. If there is any basis to the claims about global warming, perhaps this is end of one phase and the beginning of another.

Author Michael Crichton in his novel “State of Fear” researched global warming for 3 years before writing his book. He thinks its a crock of shit.

And lately have you noticed that you don’t see the phrase “global warming” in the media any more? Now it’s called “climate change”.  Which means “some places will be warmer, some colder, some wetter, some drier, some windier, some calmer”.

Well duh. That’s called “weather”.

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Kids Should Eat More Dirt

I’m concerned that kids these days aren’t eating enough dirt.

There are anti bacterial cloths, disinfectants, antihistamines and antibiotics. I’m quite sure they are all just making us weaker!

To build a healthy and resilient immune system more dirt should be eaten; especially at a young age.

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Landfill – Buy Now At Bargain Prices To Mine The Gold Later

Every week we put out our glass, plastic, bottles, cans and paper for the council to recycle.

Are you aware that these materials are first sorted and then buried?

Unfortunately the cost of recycling materials such as plastic and aluminum is greater than cost of buying new.

Sad.

The council keeps a map of what they bury where, in the hope that one day it can be dug up and sold for cash.

Therefore I propose that you purchase garbage dumps and closed landfills at a bargain price today so that one day (perhaps in 20 years) you can mine your trash for nuggets of gold!*

(*results may vary)

You won’t even have to get your hands dirty. By that time there will be robots that will pick through the trash for you!

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How To Wash The Dishes Correctly

Warning: You are probably washing your dishes incorrectly!

I have prepared the following step by step guide to help you to practice a more effective technique.

Important notice to all those who have a dish washer: Piss off.

For everyone else, the Step by Step guide:

  1. Rinse everything thoroughly – I’m talking clean enough to put in your cupboard as is!
  2. Fill the sink only a third up with very hot water and put all the cutlery and drinking glasses in first. You will find you need less detergent this way.
  3. Wash the glasses first and then all the cutlery. Now load some plates into the sink. Then put away all the glasses which will be dry by now, and then the cutlery.
  4. Next wash all the plates and bowls. At this point the temperature of the water can fall to critical levels. It may pay to top up with boiling water from a kettle. If the tray gets full, take a break, dab the items that have been there the longest – these will be practically dry. Don’t heap dishes right up because the water drips onto the dishes underneath!
  5. Soak the pots while you clear the dish rack. Wash the pots, clear the bench and by then the pots are dry.

The test of proper rinsing is to take a glass of your dish water and hold it up. It is clear enough for drinking you’ve rinsed well, congrats. If not, try harder next time.

Trouble Shooter:

“My tea towel is very wet”
A: Wait longer before drying the items, improve your timing, make sure the water is hot.

“There is still some crust on the washed dishes”
A: Be more thorough in the rinsing phase. And remember, tea towels are for dabing excess moisture, they are not scrub sponges for getting crust off plates.

“Your method took me 2 hours”
A: Cancel social events and other things you are involved in to make more time for proper dish washing technique.

Testimonials:

“Thanks so much sheltron! Your process transformed our lives. We are grateful.
– P. Sherman

“Sheltron, you’re the man! Thanks for your help. My dishes are so clean! Just like you said, I can now drink the water after washing up! We save $50 a week!
– J. Herbert

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My Dad Ordered A Fancy Sounding French Dish

This one time, my family went out to dinner to a very nice restaurant.

We took our time making our selections from the menu.

We asked each other what we were going to order and it came around to dads turn.

“What takes your fancy father?” I asked politely.

“I think I’ll try the…” he paused a moment as he ran the pronounciation of this obviously french dish in his head first, “the Tar-sting Pa-la-tae”.

“That sounds like a nice french dish!” my wife remarked.

“I don’t recall seeing it on the menu” I chipped in.

So I had another look.

It turned out it wasn’t french at all, he had mis-pronounced “Tasting Plate”!

Much jibbing and hilarity followed.